The Art of Negotiating

By Mike DuBose and Blake DuBose

Every little bit—saving money, making extra money, or protecting your current assets—helps your company’s survival. Negotiating is an important part of developing this culture.

Negotiation is like a dance, with each party leading at different times. Give in too much or try to take too much too fast and you lose!

By planning ahead, you can obtain a better bargaining position. The “most effective single thing you can do to increase your power is to prepare,” write Michael and Mimi Donaldson in Negotiating for Dummies.

It takes planning and skill to obtain what you want and leave your opponent in good shape. Ethically, I believe that negotiators should not be ruthless or take advantage of a desperate person. Effective negotiation is an art that evolves over time.

Mentally Preparing to Spar: Think about what you want to achieve from the negotiations. You may allow your opponent to win some battles…as long as you win the war.

Determining the Best Time and Day to Meet: Negotiate when you are most alert. I recommend scheduling negotiations mid-week during mid-morning or mid-afternoon. Avoid scheduling other appointments too soon before or after the negotiations since you do not want to rush the process.

Defining the Medium of the Negotiations: The medium may be a telephone conversation, face-to-face meeting, or video conference. If you are trying to reach your opponent by telephone, avoid leaving more than one message so you don’t appear hungry.

Having your opponent come to you automatically gives you greater power in the negotiating process. If you cannot attract this person to your office, suggest a calm, high-quality neutral site.

To be in a position of power, sit at the head of the table. If you want your partner more relaxed and engaged, sit across from them. Ensure that your meeting area is clean and organized to give the appearance of professionalism.

I always turn my cell phone off in front of the participants to remind them to do the same. Ask staff to not interrupt you and turn off the ringer on your office telephone. If there is a situation underway that may require an interruption, let the participants know up front.

Preparing the Way to the Meeting: Have your guest held in the reception area until meeting time. Be prompt to avoid irritation. I like my adversaries to be late since they will apologize, giving me an unconscious “IOU” from them when negotiating.

Have the receptionist greet your guest with a smile and water or a soft drink to help them relax, begin the bonding process, and eliminate tension before the negotiations begin.

Pre-Negotiation Tactics: Dress according to the occasion. If you own a luxury car, avoid parking where your customer may see it and infer that you have a lot of money.

When your opponent enters the room, shake hands with a slightly firm grasp and look him or her in the eyes with a relaxed smile. Introduce other participants, but limit the number of others in the room to one or two. Try to determine your adversary’s desired outcomes prior to the meeting.

Entering the Negotiations: Take charge of the meeting by telling everyone why the meeting has occurred. Have your notes ready and look everyone in the eyes, concentrating on the decision-maker. Avoid giving away any nervousness; good preparation usually helps you keep meetings organized and reduces stress. I state my position while listening to my opponent for cues on his or her stance. If the other party brings up a positive point, note it. Also, read about body language so you understand how the body communicates.

Some people will break down when confronted with silence, giving away their secrets and strategies. If neither party breaks down, just repeat your position. Try to keep the discussion on a professional level, avoiding sensitive issues like politics or personal beliefs.

As the primary negotiator for your team, you must keep the meeting moving forward in an organized way without dominating the discussion. You may ask questions as you probe for the needs of your adversary. Remember – LISTEN!

Finalizing the Agreement: Once the deal has been finalized, customers will expect the same in the future and will tell others about it, so don’t go in too cheap up front. Sell the product and service first and then explain why the customer will benefit from doing business with you. Never criticize your competitors.

Some items may be declared non-negotiable. When making concessions, always try to obtain something in return. Giving too much too soon signals that you want the account or customer very badly, weakening your position. If your opponent presents an idea that you need more time to consider, you can say you need to think about it and will respond by a certain date.

IMPORTANT: Do not accept the first offer made by your opponent. In fact, it irritates me when the other side accepts my offer right off the bat because I knew that I could have gotten a better deal. Don’t waffle when the deal is near completion. Some negotiators try to squeeze out something at the end when everyone is smiling! Follow up all agreements in writing while the meeting is fresh on your mind.

If you reach a roadblock, take the issue off the agenda and come back to it later in the meeting when your adversary may be more receptive. If the meeting is not progressing toward an acceptable outcome, reiterate what the parties have agreed to, call a “time out,” and meet again in the near future to attempt a resolution. Another option is to act like you have given up on the deal so the other side (particularly, a vendor) will make concessions to save it.

The optimal result is that everyone walks out of the negotiations feeling satisfied.

Remember, negotiation is an art that takes time and practice to develop. Build a culture in your organization of negotiators who seek “win-win” situations. By following these simple strategies for improving your negotiation skills, you can usually get what you want—and at a better price than you thought possible!